Queasy Contentment

Oh dear, oh dear, how my stomach turns and churns when it comes to goodbyes. Today is my last day at the office. Though my flight doesn't leave until 1:40 pm tomorrow, I will be heading to Blantyre at 5 am tomorrow morning since there is another team flying out, and we want to cut down on mileage costs. So I've got less than 24 hours left here in the "city" of Zomba...which technically is now a city, though perhaps the smallest one I've ever seen!

Tonight there will be a farewell for all of us leaving at the Jones' house. My Bible study group had a nice farewell dinner on Wednesday evening as well, where I had to say goodbye to Helen, since she is at a meeting in Lilongwe, the capital. Mary also gave me 8 metres of gitengi material on behalf of the whole group. She said it's for me and my Mom - that we can get something made to wear and feel close to each other. I couldn't help but joke about calling Mom up in the morning, "Hey Mom, wear your African outfit today so that we can match inter-provincially!" I am so touched by the thoughtfulness - especially the care that this group has shown in praying and asking about my parents.

Anyone here knows that something that has brought me so much joy is getting to know the watchmen and their families from the house I lived at in June. I have been so blessed from their friendship, and have been praying for them constantly. I was so surprised and touched by their effort and time to come and bid me farewell. Just yesterday, Mr. Bitton and his wife Mary walked from Chinamwali to give me a hand-written letter, hand-made doilies, and a bag full of food. Things like this make you pause and reflect on poverty, richness in spirit, and love. I told Mr. Bitton that I am so humbled because I feel that they have given me so much more than I have given them. It is sad to have to part ways.


The middle month of my stay here was very difficult emotionally for me. I felt the oh so familiar feeling that I have known for the last few years of my nodamic life of figurative homelessness. I found myself thinking that I could never feel at home here in Malawi, because no matter how much Chichewa I learned, to the locals I would always be "other". And yet, as I was sitting in church last Sunday, it occured to me that, with some more time and God's help, I could feel at home here. God has surely used these three months to strenghten me and teach me many things - about Jesus, and about myself. I feel like I know myself better for having come here. I only hope that it is a secondary benefit - to the work I came to do!

There were so many more blog posts floating around my head. Like transportation - mini-buses that aren't full when you think they are, and 99% of the cars being Japanese, and the others German. Like clashes in English - not being able to understand each other because "pants" here means underwear (so speak carefully!). Like people - those who have touched my life during my stay.

As I prepare to leave, my heart is heavy, and yet there is peace - knowing that the Lord is in this place, and that He will be with me in my place. And that as He wills, I will be re-united once again with those that have become tucked in my heart.

This is my last blog post from Malawi. To all who have read, I hope you have enjoyed your stay. To all who have prayed, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. To all who have shown their love and care here at Emmanuel International, I pray with utmost fervor that God would continue to indwell your work, so that others would continue to be blessed even more than you have blessed me. And to my parents - thank you for having enough faith to see me through this journey.

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